We Can Be Heroes » Quotes » Daniel

Episode 1

“That’s our dog Ja Rule. Named after the rapper, coz he’s black.”

“Remember when Ja Rule had a crush on Mum? He like totally had the hots for Mum, and Mum’d be like hanging out the washing and that and Ja Rule would like, you know how dogs site sit like that, and he’d get a stiffy. It was disgusting. But Mum was kinda flattered.”

“But I’m like pretty much the smarter one, like Nathan is not as smart as me, like he had to repeat year 3 and that. Mum reckons Nathan’s 3 percent spastic, like he’s just got the tiniest bit of it in him.”

“It’s not gonna be like, I’m not gonna hear what Nathan’s hearing. That’d be fully weird if that happened. Mum, it’s not gonna be me hearing what Nathan hears, is it?”

“Everyone at school’s pumped for it and that, like our teachers made a banner and shit, in the classroom. And this like year 7 kid um, Damien, he’s done a project on us. So he’s got like articles and shit and um diagrams and that. He did a big talk and that. We’re like his heroes, in town and shit”

“I just think it’s important that Nath is able to hear again, coz he was heaps fun and that, and once he got deaf, he started being like, like heaps spastic and that. Like he got heaps worse and started doing bad shit around town and that, and like he broke he broke into school and pissed on the teachers desk um, once.”

“If I win Australian Of The Year, it’s gonna be heaps good coz, like you don’t get money and shit but like you go to Canberra and you gotta like do speeches and talks and shit, and like inspire kids and that.”

Episode 2

“Oh he’s just calling out the gears. He can work it out just by feeling the vibrations and that. One of the good things about being deaf.”

“There’s just heaps of shit to do around here, like you’ve pretty much got everything you need. You’ve got Dunt Arcade, and there’s Dunt main street shops, Dunt Charcoal Chicken, um, Dunt footy field, Dunt train station, Dunt, um school, Dunt…”

“That’s the weird thing about Nathan, like heaps of chicks in town are like fully into him and because he’s like, he is slightly retarded and I think chicks are totally into, like attracted to spastic qualities in blokes. So that’s what I’m thinking, if once I give up my ear and that, I might be more attractive to chicks and that, coz I’m sort of a little bit handicapped.”

Episode 3

“I use these um, these coloured cards, just attached ‘em to my belt. Green means I’m hungry, like bring me food and that, red means piss off, like if he’s pissing me off and shit, I just hold that up so he knows. And um, blue is change games on the Xbox.”

“Yeah we gotta go in, it’s 5 days and um, get admitted and shit. But I’m actually pumped for it like hospitals, there’s heaps of hot nurse chicks and stuff there so I’m thinking, you know, you can get ‘em to like bathe your balls and that. Like if you claim that you’re like, really sick and shit, this is what this bloke in town told me, they give you like a bath. Like I’m gonna fake it. I’m just gonna lie back and go ‘Oh, my guts hurt heaps and that.’”

“You know the Starlight Foundation? I actually inquired on the internet about that coz like kids and shit, who are like dying and that, they wanna see if they can grant your wishes. And I was gonna ask for like, some chicks and that for the weekend. Which wouldn’t actually be that expensive, because they do like, trips do Disneyland and shit.

“So this is what I’m working on, it’s the shearing shed. Do you know much about sheep?”
“No, no nothing.”
“Um, you gotta shear ‘em. It’s gonna be huge, it’s gonna have a mezzanine level at the top. Like when Nathan and I run the farm and shit we’re gonna take over the house, so we need somewhere for Mum to stay.”

Episode 4

“Oh my God! Wanker! You are disgusting! Wanker! He’s Wanking! Wanker… Don’t do anything fucking stupid dickhead! Don’t be an idiot. Don’t fucking ruin the shed dickhead. It’s our fucking shed dickhead, do you wanna run a farm or what?!”

“Daniel. D, decent. A, good bloke. N, nonetheless nice. I, is giving. E, everlasting good bloke. L, legend…Sick, thanks.”

Episode 5

“I just didn’t wanna go, but Mum bought these like, gay-ass clothes for us, and um, and it’s like Canberra’s meant to be so boring anyway, like there’s just nothing to do there. But um, anyway, that bloke reckons that you can get fireworks in Canberra, like any sort of fireworks and they’re like illegal here, so you can get ‘em there. And like, Mum said if we go, we can stop at a shop on the way there and get like shitloads of ‘em. Coz Nathan and I love fireworks. We, you know, love ‘em. And so that’ll be good.”

Episode 6

“I’m not even thinking about it. Like if I win it’ll be like ‘Oh fuck!’ But it’s good to be here, just keepin’ it real at this stage.”

“There’s one half-decent, like hot looking chick over there, in pink, that I might go and talk to later.”